so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
