And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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