Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
