And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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