The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
