Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Randomize
