and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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