Umm I'm too high to move.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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