I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
