3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize