office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
