We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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