spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
