Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
