6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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