Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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