Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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