so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Randomize
