We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
