I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
