Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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