I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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