Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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