I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
