yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
