It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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