sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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