Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
