I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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