You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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