Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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