it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
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Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
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Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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