Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
this beer tastes like vomit already
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize