I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Randomize
