Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Hello my rib-scented angel!
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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