Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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