I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
