WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
we should paint friendship bongs
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
