i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I FOUND THE LEGS
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
