Just fell off a train. Bad.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Randomize
