she woke up with a sticky ear
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
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I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
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I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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