You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
