how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
