he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize
