i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I seem to have left my pride at pride
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
