I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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