I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
