I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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