I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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