Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
this hospital has no fireball
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Randomize
