just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
