I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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