I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
MIDGETS
????
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
