I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
