upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
