I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
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