She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize