well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Did you just see the Batmobile???
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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