Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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