I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
