Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Randomize
