Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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