there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
