i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
